I have been feeling a little overwhelmed and I don't know...nervous lately. Most of the time I'm really excited to have two new little people added into our craziness, but lately I am feeling more and more nervous for Sam and Maggie. I'm not worried about the babies because, although I know it's going to be difficult, I know we can do this; but how can two parents and only one during the day be spread so thin as to cover and take care of everyones physical and emotional needs...including my own. I worry that because they are older...even if it is only by a few measley years...they will have to grow up too fast and miss out on time they need to be nourished and snuggled. I really hope they don't feel too jilted...espescially Sam. He is such a sweet and sensitive kid and he's adjusted so well to having a little sister, but will he end up being that kid that acts out because he's not getting enough one on one attention? I sure hope not. I know so many of you have more kids than I do and not only make it work, but make it work well...but 4 kids in 4 years is not what I expected or planned on, and although I know that Heavenly Father knows I can do this, sometimes it's hard to have that confidence in myself!
Yesterday I woke up and decided that Sam and I needed to go on a date. So I checked out what was playing at the $1.00 theater and luckily Toy Story 3 was still playing. We dropped Miss Mags off at Steph's and headed to the movie. He was so excited and when we got sat down he turned to me and said, "Mom.......next time you ask me to stop teasing Maggie so we can go on a date......I will." This was due to the threats that if I had to ask him to stop teasing his sister one more time that morning we'd call the whole thing off.
Then that night I was reading Nie Nie's blog (one of the most amazing people I've ever been inspired by!) and this song was posted. I actually started to cry when I listened to it and had to buy it from itunes. The lyrics are pretty much exactly how I am feeling right now. I am so in love with my kiddos and I hate that every time I blink they get a little bigger. I just hope they can take me along on their journeys.
Hourglass
Mindy Gledhill
© 2010 Blue Morph Music (BMI)
Little boy, when you speak
I can't help but kiss your cheeks
I love the way you grab my hands
And tell me all about your plans
Rocket high, comets fly
You and I could take a ride
And fly away to Neverland
And give our best to Peter Pan
When you reach for the stars
Don't forget who you are
And please don't turn around and grow up way too fast
See the sand in my grasp
From the first to the last
Every grain becomes a memory of the past
Oh, life's an hourglass
Life's an hourglass
Story's read, prayer is said
Close your eyes sleepyhead
While angels linger in your dreams
And hold you in their feathered wings
Just like you, I was small
Not that long ago at all
I wish you all the happiness
That God gives freely if you ask
5 comments:
For some weird reason... I read that post today too! It's not one that I regularly read. I really liked the song too! Great lyrics!
I'm so glad you've finally decided to read NieNie's blog... she's inspired me on a daily basis for over a year now ;)
I totally know how you feel... and I only have 2 kids!! I've been on the new LDS.org a lot in the last few weeks and I've found a lot of really good talks about raising children. I know you do a good job... I watch you and wish I could be more like you. You are strong and patient and loving. And I know your kids have confidence in you... I see it when I'm with them.
I'm there with you.
My tears started in the doctor's office. My doctor has a set of twins himself, and the discussion made me a little weepy. By the time I got home, I was full-fledged, all-out bawling. We've been taking care of two neices for over a week now, and life isn't the same with 5 kids in the house, and it's sad to think about moving from 3 kids to 5. I do feel confident that God knows some things will fall to the wayside... they just have to, but maybe part of the journey is deciding which things to let go of, and which things to hold on to. My sis-in-law said she had to let go of daily baths for her kids. I don't know what it'll be for me yet, but I can figure it out with His help. I know my kids are hand-picked to be siblings to twins, and we're all being prepared for whatever our future holds. I know all that, but I will probably still cry about it. Comes with the territory I believe :)
LOVE the song and the lyrics (just read nienie's blog myself).
I feel overwhelmed on a daily basis and even though mine is different, I know Heavenly Father will make your burdens light. Besides, you're a great mom and I'm sure the ideas/insperations will come when you need them (and we can and will help too:))
It's Saturday at 11:30 and I just woke up, trying to get rid of a massive headache. I had to get out of bed to find my excedrin and thought I would look and see if anyone posted pictures from the halloween party. And I came across your blog post that should have had a warning on it. I love the song and think you are able to put into words that which most of us feel. I know it will be hard but like the other comments say, you will have to choose what is important to you and Kendall and everything will fall into place. Your children will grow up knowing their mother loved them and always had time for them!
Now I have to go and start over on this headache thing, once I stop crying...
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