Think, think, thinking...

As mentioned in an earlier post, I love New Years because I really like sitting down, looking at my life, and figuring out things that are working and things that need to be tweaked to reach my goals.  It seems like the last two years have been focused on surviving our four small children, but this year is going to be different!  I just started reading an old book by Linda Eyre called A Joyful Mother of Children.

It was a book of my mom's that's been sitting on a shelf in my basement for years.  For some reason as I was changing the laundry yesterday, the bright cover caught my eye and as I read the title I thought, "I need to read this."

I've always felt like having joy was a choice, and I consider myself to be a happy person and a reasonably good mother; but I feel like so often I fall short on things I want to be doing with my kids and important things I need to be teaching them because A- I think I'm too tired or B- There is just too much to do to run our household.  Hence the feelings of survival mode instead of focusing on having short term achievable goals we can attain as a family. I realize there is a time and season for everything, but I'm feeling like it is our season to improve on some things.

I think in September I decided that I wanted/ desperately needed to add regular exercise back into my daily routine.  It had been so hard to do this since the twins.  Maggie is still so little that she can't keep up fast enough to go for exercise walks and there's no more room for her in the double jogger; and the treadmill just wasn't getting used.  So I discovered that our local rec center, that we were already members of, had day care that would only cost $28 for the entire month...for all my kids.  It's been the best discovery ever.  I take Sam to school in the morning, we pick up my friend, and head to the gym most mornings.  It's been so great!  It makes me so much more productive and happy with myself, and the kids really love the ladies who run it.  Getting more fit is always on my new years resolutions list, so I'm really happy that this year it will actually happen!

Also, in  October, Kendall and I took some deep hard looks at our family and some of the habits we were in and decided together that several of them weren't going to get us to where we want to be.  One of those was that we weren't spending enough quality time together as a couple...oh sure, we had several hours each night together after the kids were all asleep, but we weren't really doing anything besides watching tv and unwinding from the day.  So we've decided the tv can't come on until we've read our scriptures, and said our prayers...we also started reading books together.  Right now we are reading a chapter a night from the kindgom and the crown series.  It gives us time to talk and enjoy each other instead of just sharing space...does that make sense?  We've also dedicated Tuesday night as date night and as often as we can we attend an institute class or go out on a date.  It's amazing how just having a better connection with each other helps us to be better parents.  I know that probably seems like an obvious outcome of spending more time together, but we get in ruts where we are happy and things seem fine, but we're kind of stagnant...plus this was the year for the 7 year rut.   It's also interesting how much easier it makes it to have regular successful scripture study together as a family and FHE when we have the time we need together.

Another thing we decided had to change was the way we react to our kids all too often with either anger or annoyance...hence the excitement at finding that book.  The heading says, "Help despite the Hassles for mothers of young children."


So, anyways, last night I started reading this book in the tub and she talks about how our society looks at being in the home as a homemaker as more of a prison than a privilege.  And that being a successful mother is hard work.
I loved these statements:
"The most successful homes are run by mothers who take their careers as seriously as any top executive....

the development of lovely, joyful, responsible children doesn't just happen accidentally, any more than a
successful corporation just happens. A unified, organized, progressing family requires a unified, organized, progressive plan! "

She is really quite funny...I was actually laughing out loud. She says, "I have to smile when I look back on those rather naive time most of us have before we become mothers for the first time. Oh my, the daydreams I used to have! What fun it will be, I thought, to have someone call me Mommy, how exciting to sew dresses for my little girls and knickers for my boys. Just think of the lovely furniture, the rooms neat and orderly, and the gourmet meals I will prepare, I mused. When that first sweet baby finally came, I suddenly realized some things I hadn't thought of before.  She had to be fed every two or three hours.  I worried constantly about whether or not she got enough to eat because she cried before and after I fed her. She certainly eliminated the time I could spend with m husband and friends, because I was up all night feeding and changing. I felt like a zombie in the morning- irritable and touchy. The sacrifices change, but they never ended as the child grew.  As two more children joined the ranks, I realized that sewing little dresses was not exactly the bliss I'd envisioned.  While I tried to sew, the baby screamed, the two-year-old dumped the pins on the floor every fifteen minutes, and the four-year-old cut up the pattern pieces I wasn't using. As I struggled out the door to run an errand with three little ones stumbling all over each other, and noticed the mud, toothpaste, and play dough all over the bathroom taps, sink, and walls I remember thinking, Thank goodness for "selected neglect'"!  I realized that the kids wouldn't eat the gourmet meals I fixed. The typical reaction to the slaved-over hollandaise suace is, "What is this strange stuff?" Often, in exasperation, the next night I resort to fish sticks or hot dogs."
She goes on with several more hilarious truths, then says, "Just as I reach the breaking point, into my head will pop the scripture: "All these things shall give thee experience".

So funny, but so exactly where I have been.  I can't wait to finish this book, and hope to add a few more goals to my list afterward, but for now here are a few of my new years resolutions:

1- Continue having spouse time.  Maybe take up a hobby together.

2- Get our finances in order.  There are several things we want to do, but need to "trim the fat" before we can get there.

3- Set goals as a family on things we'd like to do together...go hiking, camping, date nights with our kids, etc.

4- Find a good quality in each of my children that I'd like to help them with.  For example, Sam is very imaginative and can play for hours doing his own thing...so maybe help him find something new to incorporate into his play time.  Maggie loves to help...so maybe setting up cooking classes or art classes for her with me.

5- Spend more time teaching my children, and learn new hobbies together.

These are just some of my crazy thoughts lately.  How about you?  What do you like to do in the new year? Do you set goals or reflect on where your habits are taking you?