Four of the scariest words I've heard...

A couple of weeks ago, I had the first thorough physical I've had in a long time.  As she was doing the breast exam she said "hmmm...." Then she checked my right side again.  "That's when she said you have a lump. I'd like you to go get an ultrasound at the Huntsman Cancer Center."  Those seriously are four of the scariest words I've ever heard...you have a lump!

It's funny how your mind starts messing with you.  My grandma passed away from breast cancer and my mom has had non-cancer mass removed.  But I'm a pretty logical person and don't usually get super stressed, or easily upset...but over the course of the next two weeks it took for me to get my ultrasound done I was starting to imagine all the possibilities...it didn't help that my favorite show "Parenthood" was all about one of the characters having breast cancer.  She had a one year old baby and two older children.  I have four small children.  I started picturing their lives without me. A little dramatic, but what can you do?

So anyways, yesterday was my ultrasound and just driving into the Cancer Institute was a little unnerving...people go there that have cancer...scary!  Everyone was super nice and the building was beautiful.  They got me right in and my mom waited out in the waiting room with the kiddos.  As the doctor started talking to me, I just started crying.  He told me it was perfectly understandable, but not to get too worried until they new some answers.  He did the ultrasound and said he could only find a tiny little cyst, and that he'd have the other doctor look at it and come back and talk to me.  The ultrasound took 13 minutes and it took about 15 minutes for the doctors to come back.  In those waiting minutes I kept thinking everything could change in this short time.  What if they give me the worst news?  Then I thought a prayer and asked Heavenly Father to help me be calm and to feel his peace....immediately, the fear left and I new he loved me. The doctors came back in and the older doctor did another ultrasound.  After a few minutes he said everything looked good and that the cyst was very small and nothing to be worried about.  He said we'd do a follow up in 6 months and then in a year and a half just be positive that it didn't need to be drained, but that I was just fine!  Phew!!!

It felt so good to have that big "what if" gone!  When I got to the waiting room the kids had charmed all the workers and the people around them.  They were giving them toys to take home and treats to eat.  Luckily it was a quick appointment so they didn't overstay their cute-ness and turn into the wiggly little monsters they can sometimes be!

Today is a new day...Kendall is taking his first of three Journeyman Electrician state tests today...a whole other kind of stress!  I am on pins and needles for him today!  He's studied hard and is well prepared so I think he will do well, but that unknown is no fun.  Wish us luck!  Then this weekend is our 8th anniversary and Maggie's 4th birthday.  Super fun and great reasons to celebrate after a long week.